Many have tried to break down the phenomenon of the middle school experience, but the horror surrounding it cannot be unveiled.
While movies like “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” and “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” may come close, the quintessential preteen adventure cannot be mimicked, no matter the artistry.
Those three years shape you as a person more than any other era in your lifetime. Not only are you making the transition from child to raucous, hormonal teenager, but all of your peers are as well.
Bottling up this ticking time bomb of growing humans into one brick building and then forcing them to sit still and learn with one another is a disaster waiting to happen.
Teachers are left to play constant defense against an army that refreshes every year and seems to have a never-ending supply of body odor and vehement complaining at their ready disposal.
So, you may be asking how any of this cataclysmic destruction is formative to kids. Why do some students deem middle school the worst years of their lives, and others consider it their peak?
Some may say it has something to do with brain development or give another equally scientific explanation, but the truth lies in the age-old Darwinist theory of natural selection.
The simple conjecture is the kids who thrived in a middle school landscape never had to face the terrors of those who didn’t thrive, but more or less survived, experienced daily.
While these survivalist students may feel unlucky, they are actually among the fortunate few. A miserable middle school existence bodes well for a successful adult life.
Afterall, if you can survive the worst of middle school, then not even a bear attack could phase you. A middle school girl could take down a bear with a Sephora lip gloss in one hand and a trapper keeper in the other.
After writing this article and reminiscing on my own middle school years, I made the treacherous trek to my 14-year-old brother’s room. I was met with the blaring sound of video games and a stench that warranted immediate fumigation, but I walked over to him and patted him on the back anyway.
He will be graduating from his middle school years in a few months and something like that requires congratulations. Although high school may seem like a jungle, nothing compares to the constant icy tundra that is middle school.
I would urge you to tell the preteen closest to you to stay strong. Just keep your head down, do your homework and throw the Axe Body Spray into the nearest garbage heap. High school will be better.
