1. Display major PDA: It’s one thing to peck your significant other on the lips or cheek before rushing off to your next hour. It’s a completely different thing to hug each other so tight I’m worried your insides might fall out. Don’t worry; the class period will be over before you know it.
2. Take forever at the water fountain: I get you’re thirsty, but so am I. If I’m waiting behind you at the water fountain for more than ten seconds, I’m going to become concerned that you’re part camel and you’re retaining all this water for later. How thirsty can one be?
3. Stand in front of the same person’s locker every day: I get pulling over to the side of the hall to socialize or say your goodbyes. However, you should at least have the decency not to camp out at the same locker every day. Move around and mix it up.
4. Part crowds to get through: We all have somewhere to be. Pushing me to the side to rush to your next class is not the way to get around the school. If you must, at least say “excuse me.”
5. Hold hands super far apart: If you’re going to hold hands, I suggest you stand close together, because I promise you that if there’s a big enough gap between the two of you that I can fit, I’ll be breaking right through your hang-holding bond. The hall ain’t big enough for that.
6. Snail walk: Just like highways, the hall has a rule: if you’re going to go under the “speed limit,” stay as far to the right as possible. Walking painfully slow in the fast lane will get you in trouble sooner or later.
7. Carry the contents of your locker in your backpack: When I am walking up the stairs, I shouldn’t have to worry about being slammed in the face with your backpack. You are assigned a locker for a reason; therefore, you should not have a backpack that’s bigger than you are. It’s not only harmful to your back and well-being, but you’re also in everyone else’s way.
8. Talk so loud I hear a play-by-play of your weekend from down the hall: Your life is not my business—simple as that. I don’t care what your mom made you for breakfast Saturday, nor does it concern me what you and your boyfriend got in a fight about. If I can hear you loud and clear from more than a couple feet away, you need to turn down the volume.
9. Walk on the wrong side: Again, back to road rules and common courtesy; if you are going down the hall, WALK ON THE RIGHT. If you wouldn’t drive against oncoming traffic, then don’t walk against oncoming students. You’ll either get run over or receive the dirtiest looks ever. You deserve both.
10. Stop mid-step and turn around: There’s nothing that I hate more than running into the back of a person who all of the sudden decides they want to change direction. It’s practically like an illegal U-turn, hallway style. I’m on a mission to get to class. When you stop to turn around, you’re in my way.
