As turkey season falls upon us, I find myself anticipating Thanksgiving dinner more and more every day. A cozy fireplace, mostly tolerable relatives and good food all make the holiday what it is.
But not all food is created equal.
Everyone has their favorites and preferences, and different recipes suit different taste buds. Over the years, I’ve learned exactly how to fill my plate to maximize flavor and get the most out of my meal. As such, I’ve taken it upon myself to provide a definitive, 100% accurate ranking of some of the most common foods seen on Thanksgiving tables.
#7 – Green Bean Casserole
I feel no malice toward this dish, but it just doesn’t do anything for me. I’ve seen a million different recipes with a million different reviews saying it’s their signature dish or favorite thing to eat at Thanksgiving, but I’ve never felt anything but discontentment when eating this casserole.
Sometimes it’s made better than others, but I’ve never had a version that I would call Thanksgiving dinner worthy.
#6 – Turkey
Call it scandalous all you want, but the turkey is easily one of my least anticipated dishes each year. I used to think I just didn’t like the way my family made it, but after having enough versions of it prepared by other people, I can safely say that it’s just not my forte.
But I would be all over it if it weren’t the driest meat known to man. I have to drench it with gravy just to get through the slice, and, while gravy is excellent in its own right, it shouldn’t be reduced to a coverup for a subpar staple.
#5 – Stuffing
Stuffing is an unpredictable dish. It’s either a nice addition to my plate or a mildly disappointing detractor from an otherwise delightful meal. No matter which side of the scale it falls on, however, it’s never very exciting for me. I don’t dislike it when it’s made to fit my preference, but even then, it’s more underwhelming than anything.
#4 – Mac and Cheese
I love me some mac and cheese, and it’s usually made nicely for this holiday, but it feels boring compared to its counterparts. I can have mac and cheese any day of the week, and there’s nothing special about it. It’s wonderful and the flavor is part of why it’s closer to the top spot on the list than some other items, but it’s missing that Thanksgiving pizzazz, which keeps it from the top three.
#3 – Pumpkin Pie
Though I prefer apple pie, pumpkin is too iconic not to include on the list. Pumpkin pie works in the way turkey doesn’t: the condiments work with it.
While gravy tries and fails to mask the dry quality of the turkey, the entire can of whipped cream I dump atop my slice of pie serves to both successfully mask the flavor and make for an overall more enjoyable experience. It’s not my favorite thing on the table, but it does what it needs to in adding to the overall vibe of the meal.
#2 – Mashed Potatoes
Mashed potatoes can transform any dish from just alright to great. They can make or break a meal. They go well with every single thing you could possibly eat. Do I eat them outside of Thanksgiving? Yes. But does that matter when they’re as good, versatile and easy as this dish is? Not one bit. Mashed potatoes unify your plate in a way the United Nations never could, and we all need more of this reinforcement in our lives.
#1 – Cranberry Sauce
This is the one thing I look forward to all year long. I dream about it. I write poems about it. I start rehearsing the love songs I’m going to sing to it in February. It’s hard to beat mashed potatoes, but cranberry sauce is the clear winner between the two.
While I typically like the homemade options best, the only possible right answer for which cranberry sauce is the best is the canned, jellied type that maintains its ridged, cylindrical shape all dinner long. It’s sweet and tart, and it has just the right amount of holiday cheer to boost even the worst of dishes.
Thanksgiving is a time for family, friends, gratitude, and delicious food. Even if the relatives are annoying or the weather isn’t pleasant, hopefully this list helps you to know which foods to prioritize and which to pass over to make the perfect plate as we get ready to dive into this holiday season.