Students and teachers predicted it. The end is near and it’s in the form of final exams.

Students everywhere over 14 are overwhelmed with sadness and stress with the soon-arriving apocalypse. Regret corrupts the minds of the still-sane: regret of the things they wish they had turned in on time or the extra credit they thought they wouldn’t need.

Many have lost all hope and have stooped so low, they don’t even have a pencil to bring to class anymore.

No one is safe, not even the teachers. The elders who have stayed strong in front of classes everywhere are breaking down and losing their hair as the threat of the end causes nightmares of scantrons and failing students.

Four short months ago, students were beaming with signs of life and ready to take on the semester. Pencils in hand, their confidence was high and their energy was positive. Teachers were handing out syllabuses with innocent smiles.

Now the end is approaching and students are clinging to their last sheet of notebook paper. They refuse to think about what’s to come: the blank sheet of answer bubbles and deadlines they know they can’t make in time.

Some students are desperate for a motive to continue, and they turn to religion. A college student tweeted, “Jesus take the pencil,” and an optimistic high school student tweeted, “You don’t need a 4.0 (GPA) to get into heaven.”

But, a sliver of hope emerges as suffering students use a common survival kit for the upcoming devastation of the final week of the semester. It includes: one or more boxes of tissues for the upcoming stress, enough coffee to last through long days, No. 2 pencils to conquer any scantrons to come your way, candy for motivation to overcome the exhaustion, comfortable clothing to optimize relaxation and a remedy to senioritis.

The survival kit has saved hundreds of students from losing their GPA in the last week. It has created buzz for winter break: the only outcome reassuring students that the end may not end so badly as it seems.