Parents Need to do one Thing: Stop Living Through Their Kids

Lowey Noud, Staff Writer

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Their love is unconditional and their words are almost always true. They raise us, support us, and praise us. But how much pressure do some parents put on their children to be exactly who they want them to be?

 

I remember being 5 years old and wanting to do any and every activity I possibly could. I danced, played soccer, swam, and even gave golf a shot. But I realized quickly that I cared more about the leotards, pink cleats, swimsuits and clubs than any of the actual activities. My dad was always a huge sports fan but he could quickly tell it just wasn’t who I would be.

 

My parents accepted that my love of makeup and fashion would probably trump my interest in sports. They supported me in what I loved instead. My mom taught me how to put on lip gloss and took me shopping on the weekends instead of forcing me to play on the soccer field or hit at the driving range. They always let me know that it was okay to love whatever I wanted.

 

I’m not that 5 year old anymore but I still know that my parents would try to understand my interests and would do anything they could to support me.

 

But what happens to the kids whose parents don’t let them stray away when they lose interest?

 

I hear from my peers far too often they are playing a sport they’ve played for years but they’re not playing for themselves.

 

They’re playing because “my parents have invested too much,” or “my dad would be so mad to see me give it up. He played in high school.” I even think some kids lose interest because their parents force it all so heavily. They lose the joy in it all when the pressure becomes too much.

 

And the vicarious living doesn’t end with sports. Colleges, sexuality, body shape, jobs and grades all seem to be pressures.

 

There are parents who are upset when their kid isn’t as “popular” as they once were. Or maybe they’re even upset that their teen doesn’t show interest in the right club. How could they have possibly raised a kid who isn’t naturally brilliant? What do mean you don’t like Ole Miss?

 

This pressure from parents is causing resentment towards the things teens should be able to discover naturally.

 

In the end most parents just want their kids to be happy and they want to feel as if they’re doing everything exactly right. They want us all to be the best we can be. But if only they could understand that maybe their best isn’t always their child’s best.

 

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Parents Need to do one Thing: Stop Living Through Their Kids