Confessions of a Foodaholic

Miranda Lintzenich, Life Editor

If you’re anything like me, chances are you like food. You talk about it, you eat it, you read about it, and maybe you even dream about it. No matter what, food is life. With that comes some embarrassing confessions like so:

  1. You never stop thinking about food

Nothing is truer than this statement. Being a publications girl comes with an appetite. Mrs. Thrun will never buy enough cheeseballs or glazed doughnuts to appease my ever-growing hunger. Sometimes I even use food puns to casually bring up food in conversation. Who knows? Maybe you’ll find your new best friend over a shared interest in dark chocolate cake, I know I did.

  1. Sometimes you dream about it

Honestly, this can be a problem. If you wake up from and eight hour slumber with food on the mind, breakfast can soon turn into a feast. On the other hand, daydreaming in class about a juicy bacon-cheeseburger can only lead to being overwhelmingly embarrassed after the entirety of your class bears witness to your stomach growling louder than Chewbacca.

  1. You go over to your friends for their food

Don’t try to deny it. You may have a stacked pantry at home, but your friends food will always still sound better. Trust me, my house is on a health kick right now, so I could eat just about anything with carbs or sugar and be a happy camper. Just face it, you have done this at least once in your lifetime.

  1. You take food quizzes

Buzzfeed has been crawling across newsfeeds for some time now. Every time I login to Facebook, I’m bombarded with flashy titles, such as “What Disney Princess are you?” or “What state should you live in?” Personally, after I’ve taken most of the generic ones, I tend to hit the search bar and type in f-o-o-d. An array of quizzes regarding “What type of food are you?” or “Can we guess your favorite snack?” float across the screen.

  1. Your Pinterest board is filled with recipes

…that you will never actually use. In theory, every food item you’ve set your eyes upon looks good. But after the third attempt at gooey-butter, twice-baked, chocolate cake lava cookies burning to the pan, let’s face it, maybe you should stick to the basics. I’m not actually sure that what I described is a thing, but sometimes Pinterest can get a bit excessive and the description only proves my point.

  1. You have clothes with food on them

It’s totally okay if this is you. Especially if there’s a nice peanut butter and jelly pun on that shirt that you’ve secretly kept from sixth-grade. Or maybe you have a shirt from your favorite little Italian restaurant called Roberto’s back in your home-town. Repping my favorite food suppliers is something I often love to do because everyone should get in on that action at least once.

  1. You already have a countdown to Thanksgiving

Even though it is still January, it is perfectly acceptable in my eyes to have a countdown already set up. As of January 21, there will be 308 days until Thanksgiving and I cannot wait. Food lovers across EHS will rejoice in the glory of a fresh-baked Turkey and will pine until the day is near, me being one of them.

  1. You forgot what meal you just ate

…because you are already thinking about the next one, and that’s okay. You may have just scarfed down an amazing dish at the local steakhouse, but your mind is already on dessert at Annie’s an hour from now. I’m not judging in any way, because a medium-sized cup of chocolate ice cream with brownie bites is the key to my heart any day.

  1. You buy two school lunches… And bring your own

I am not admitting to doing this at any point of my high school career. I’m just saying that I know a guy…who knows a guy. This guy should never at any point feel bad for his love of food. If I had the stomach size that he did, I would most likely join him in his endeavors.

  1. You have a daily snack schedule

Because what other time would it be socially acceptable to eat your baby goldfish than in your third hour? You have to have a snack for before lunch and then another for after school at least if you’re a sorry sucker like me. Most days I do not see my house until 4:30 p.m., by choice of course. Packing half of my fridge into my backpack is the only way to get through each day.

By reading this, hopefully you could relate to at least one of the given confessions. If you can relate to each of these, you may have a problem. But I will be in A113 if you ever need to talk about it. Food is life, but it should not consume your life. Eat responsibly my fellow comrades.