With prom season approaching, along with the arrival of a new spring dance, boys and girls alike are in a fury of nervous ambition. What am I going to wear, where am I going to get pictures, and most importantly, who am I going to take? I sincerely apologize to the men already captivated by this lead, but this piece is not for you.
Today, I speak to the double X’s of EHS. I know little to nothing about dresswear and am not exactly a connoisseur on beautiful venues for photo-taking. So this leaves one area of advice: how to ask someone out. By that, I mean asking a guy out. By that, I mean you girls doing the asking. And yes, by that, I mean it is the 21st century.
Now, don’t refuse this approach too quickly. I am a girl. I get it. You crave the idea of being desired by a guy. You want to know that there is something so exceptional about you, that he can’t contain his interest. You also expect him to magically know you’re interested without your saying a word.
Just so we’re clear, I’m lending you this advice as a fellow inexperienced dater. I have refused all attempts guys have made in the past and tend to push away feelings because they absolutely frighten me. However, I have recently gained interest in a guy whom I don’t want to lose the opportunity with.
So, I have developed my own system of handling with this situation, and I feel it only fair to share what I am in the process of learning with as many females as possible.
1. Say something! It can be sup, ello, or even hi. It doesn’t matter. Establish some form of communication. Although, I would highly discourage establishing that communication through texting “Hey” “ hey” “whats up” “nm u” accomplishes very little.
2. Don’t be afraid to compliment him. His confidence is just as essential as yours. If you say uplifting things to him, he will associate you with positive feelings.
3. A wingman or wingwoman isn’t a bad idea. Make sure he or she is someone you know well and would have no reason to distrust. You don’t want meddling, but sometimes an intermediate is necessary. He or she gets your name out there, whether you’re just being mentioned, complimented or your wingperson is allowing your interest to be obvious. You just need to make it clear with your wingperson which one of these methods you want to be used.
4. Now it’s your turn. It’s positively frightening, I know. You can physically feel the air being vacuumed out of your lungs, your hands getting clammy, and cold sweats breaking on your underarms. But, you can’t allow that fear to cripple you from action. If you are interested enough, you will take the risk. The worse he can do is say no. So what. His loss. He just turned down a girl willing to work for a relationship. He won’t come by many of those.
5. Wait. After you’ve let him know your feelings, it’s his turn. If he isn’t showing an obvious reciprocation, don’t keep fighting for it. Either he’s playing with you or isn’t interested if he doesn’t directly respond. If it is a no go, know that you have built yourself a skill that will be advantageous in all dating scenarios. If he likes you as well, jump on top of a table, do the sprinkler and thank me.
You’re welcome.
